KABLOOEY! This time Batman and Robin face a coalition of dastardly villains we all know and love. The Penguin (Burgess Meredith), The Riddler (Frank Gorshin), The Joker (Cesar Romero, who refused to shave his moustache, leaving it clearly visible underneath the white make-up. Heath Ledger this is not) and The Catwoman (Lee Meriwether, the hottest Catwoman, bar Michelle Pfeiffer) have banded together to destroy Batman and control the world (it’s all very Dr. Evil). Of course our heroic heroes cannot stand for that sort of shenanigans and will use all the tools at their disposal to thwart them.
PPOOOW! And what tools they are! And so helpfully labeled too! From the classic Batmobile to a Batboat, Bat-toolbelt and the most awesome Batcave entrance ever (c’mon don’t tell me you wouldn’t love to see Christian Bale on a slidey-pole!) The best of all though is the handy Shark-reppellant spray. Behold:
Holy how is THAT helping Robin!?
TWHAACK! The cast seems to have a ball, with the bad guys going for gold in maniacal laughter and villainous tip-toeing (I’ll be telling my friends to be aware of “skullduggery ahead!” regularly from now on). Meanwhile Adam West makes the most of dramatic pauses and almost-straight to camera Deep Thoughts. Batman and Robin don’t once come across a problem or a riddle they can’t immediately solve, well except for once but ya’ know, some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb (true dat Batman, true dat), to the relief of Commissioner Gordon and stereotypical Irish cop, Chief O’Hara. This amazing ability means that they are always hot on the heels of the villains, until they come up with the genius idea of sending Catwoman undercover to seduce Bruce Wayne (don’t ask me why, since they don’t know his secret identity) What follows is possibly the creepiest date scene in film history (it’s okay to break eye-contact every now and then guys!). Trust me, a horny Adam West is not something you can unsee.
SPLOOSH! The production values are hilariously bad, even for the time. The fight scenes are so ineptly choreographed that not one punch lands within five feet of where it’s supposed to, and the kicky soundtrack makes sure that there is never any danger of the audience feeling the slightest bit of tension. Screenwriter Lorenzo Semple Jr. has a love for alliterations that will amuse only the most hardened word-nerds (guilty as charged!) and even after repeated viewings I still couldn’t tell you just what the plot exactly is. But despite, or perhaps because of, all these flaws watching the film is fantastic fun. You’ll be staging bad cartoon fights in your living room for weeks afterwards!
Holy crazy comments readers! What say you, is there skullduggery ahead?
Wind in My Hair 